Ramblings

It has to be a law of nature that if something is seriously wrong in your personal universe, that opens you up to be magnetized towards other disasters. That seems what is going on here. There is a massive struggle going on right now. The main struggle is not mine, but my struggle is holding everything together during the crisis. Common decency would dictate that when a person is down it doesn't seem like that is a good time to kick him in the most vulnerable spot there is, especially if you are close enough to do serious harm. That is exactly what happened today. What progress has happened with the original problem has been erased and magnified by something almost worse! I am trying to be Christlike and I am trying to come up with the right thing to do/react! And all I want to do is call someone up and let them know exactly what they have done...which I can't do because it would only make the whole situation worse! Honestly I have no words that describe the miriad of thoughts and feelings that have been running through my head, they run the spectrum. I am livid that someone I love who would never purposely hurt another person got so hurt. I feel betrayed that everything we have done for that person means nothing. I feel sorry for the smallness of character of that one person. I don't want to stoop to the same level. I am worried sick about the person who is already barely making it in more that one way. I want to avoid a certain group of people and totally withdraw from a certain area of my current life...which isn't even an option. That is just the surface of what I feel and think right now. I am holding onto my Faith with every ounce of strength I have left. It is what will and is getting me through. I wish I could help my hurt loved one hold on too!