Yesterday and the day before were probably 2 of the hardest days of my life. I came to the realization that I would probably never live permanently in the northwest near my family of origin again. Yes, I can always visit them, but it isn't the same. I have lived for the past 11+years in Utah and learned to find happiness there, but have always held out the dream of ending up near my family again. A dream like that is a hard thing to lose. I lost many a tear yesterday. Probably the last time I cried as hard as I did yesterday was the last time I moved to Utah and left my family behind 11+years ago.
Thankfully, my sister, L, helped me through the tears to see meaning and growth behind the pain and the sense of loss. This can and will help me to be a better, stronger person...because I choose to make it so! I will not let Heavenly Father down!!
I sit here and am watching the dawn of a new day rising up over the trees and lushness of the climate I love so much. To me it represents the rising of a new day and a new chapter. The hard day is over. The decision is made. There cannot be any turning back and wondering 'what if?' although that is the natural thing to do. I must look ahead and look to Heavenly Father for help to get me through the days to come. I can learn to be happy again!
A Pretty Sofa
4 years ago
